Ups, Downs.

When discussing what to blog with my roommate, all I could think about was work. I had a really discouraging/stressful day on Sunday, and I left the hospital brainstorming any other jobs I could possibly picture myself doing. Unfortunately, I can't make a living off of surfing the internet, lounging in the pool, or making banners ;)

My dad reminded me that I had been called to nursing. It was a reminder that I really needed. The fact is, I love my actual job, but it's mostly personal insecurities and personality conflicts that can sometimes get in the way.

Discouraged, I started reading in one of Elisabeth Elliot's books. She said,

It is through the tender austerity of our very troubles that the Son of Man comes knocking. In every event He seeks an entrance to my heart, yes, even in my most helpless, futile, fruitless moments. The very cracks and empty crannies of my life, my perplexities and hurts and botched-up jobs, He wants to fill with Himself, His joy, His life. The more unsatisfactory my "performance," the more He calls me to share His yoke. I should know by now that mine makes me tired and overburdened. He urges me to learn of Him: "I am gentle and humble in heart."

Just what I needed to hear, reinforcing what I know but needed to be reminded of... My purpose and perspective towards work has been skewed. What an encouragement that I don't have to be perfect, because in my shortcomings and weakness He is stronger. It's really not even about my job in the end anyway--it's about being in love with God and in turn loving people, and it's times like these when it's clear I need Him to be able to do so. To be able to pour, you have to be filled.
His yoke is easy. His burden is light.