I had the most refreshing conversation with a friend earlier this evening. You know, the kind where you spur each other on towards love and good deeds and the Holy Spirit is just moving...and you wish you were right there beside that person and that the conversation would never end. I'm so thankful for it. I feel like lately I've been so wrapped up in studying and staying busy, whatever the task may be, that I've lost something. Well, not just something, actually. I feel like I've lost a certain amount of innocence and passion, gentleness, compassion, humility, and hunger. It didn't hit me until my run, and I didn't even see it coming.
I used to run regularly until about Fall 2006 a little while after I came to UMHB. Not that you're interested in my running patterns or anything, but I think maybe running tonight (I would always run at night...I know, I know...but it's cooler!) reminded me of those days gone by, and how much things--or how much I--have changed since then. I just remember running and feeling free. Listening to Watermark and worshipping the Lord and looking up at the stars and feeling the cool breeze go through my hair. Everything--crickets chirping, friends laughing or talking seriously, the sound of the water, or the flags being whipped by the wind in the flag plaza--everything displayed God's glory, and love and care for mankind. It really served as encouragement for me to encourage and serve others.
I don't know what happened, really. Even if I could pinpoint it to one thing, it wouldn't matter anyway, because the change in me has already occurred. Is it just part of getting older? If it is, I'm joining Peter Pan. I know that I'm here because of choices that I've made...I just didn't realize the choices I was making when I made them. Maybe? Is that denial? I don't think it is exactly. Not completely.
All this to say, I see the change and I don't like it. I miss those days.
Lord give me peace and restoration and renewal.
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